Slim Novel 12 - http://adventuresofkimi.blogspot.com - See Homepage
46. Ali Watches Dan Go Downhill
By Summer 1943, Dan is developing dementia. The spray of x-rays over the brain had injured neurons that in a young person would be unnoticeable but in a very old brain like Dan's, where neurons have been dying out from the wear & tear of a long life, it had reduced the number of healthy neurons to a critically low level.
Ali observes Dan's increasing fatigue and his loss of naming. He takes to calling people he knew as so & so or whathizname. But so far his intellect holds up and he continues to have insight.
He has given up the plan for suicide because of the joy in living that the morphine and Ali give. Now, because he is so weak, he has Ali administer the injections. Sex is ended. Desire is gone.
Dr. Stan tells Ali that Dan's condition cannot go much longer.
Sunday, August 29th, a little after 6 PM, Ali with Dan. He lies on sofa, head facing windows. A hot evening, Ali has bought a large fan and Dan's head is up on pillows so he can look out the windows. He is dozing. Ali sits by his left shoulder.
He opens eyes. "My dear, dear girl. I believe my heartbeat is changed. I feel it."
Ali, takes Dan's right wrist in her left hand, his palm up and, grasping the wrist just before the crease with tip of her 2nd finger rolling off the bone, she feels the beating pulse. She counts for 60 seconds: "Twenty five! Wow, that is slow! I need to check your carotids."
She goes for the carotid pulses in the neck, as Dr Stan taught her, using right hand and placing the widened V of thumb & 2nd finger against the right and left bones of the under jaw and gently making a pincer with tips of thumb and 2nd finger so that each one presses into the softness of Dan's neck. At once she detects the heartbeats coming up into the left and right carotid arteries and the rate is same as at wrist - 25 beats per minute.
"Complete heart block. I better call an ambulance." She is about to go to phone but Dan puts his left hand on her arm. "No, dear, I am not going to hospital. Au contraire. This is a blessing. It is better than having to swallow all those pills for suicide. I have one request. Please give me a morphine. And my dear, do not be sad. Thank you for these last good years. As you know, my affairs are arranged. Now, please get me one last morphine."
Ali goes to kitchen to prepare syringe. After the few minutes she comes back to Dan. For a moment she thinks he is asleep. Then she sits suddenly and pulls down his lower eyelids. The eye pupils are dilated, which is strange because of the bright sunlight through the open windows. Suddenly she realizes - Dilated, fixed pupils! - and she pulls open his shirt to look at the bare chest - No rise and fall! And she checks his carotid pulses once more - Nothing!
Dan is dead.
47. What Do You Do When You Witness Death?
Ali goes to phone, and dials Dr. Stan. "Dan's dead. What to do?"
"You did the first thing by calling a physician. I will be there at once."
He lets himself into the unlocked apartment. Ali is still sitting by Dan. She gets up and Dr. Stan sits and listens to Dan's chest with stethoscope and checks eye pupils. Then he takes a paper from his white-jacket pocket and with ink pen, fills out the death certificate, writing as Immediate cause of death "Cardiac Arrest from Arrhythmia" and as Basic disease process "Arteriosclerotic Heart Disease of Old Age." He signs the certificate, imprints his physician's stamp, and hands it to Ali. "This will be your most important document. Are there any next of kin?"
"He mentioned a nephew in Dallas but he never showed me an address or told me the name and he said he hadn't seen him in over 20 years."
"Then until such time as the fellow shows up, you are the one. But you may want a lawyer?"
"No lawyer, Doc. Dan hated lawyers and swore me not to call one."
"OK. Now call the police. This is an unexplained death and the coroner may wish to do an autopsy. I am going back to the hospital."
Before the police, Ali telephones Brenda and Eddie. Ever the teacher, she looks upon this as a once-in-lifetime.
They arrive separately. Its being August, Eddie wears a white pullover-shirt, blue short-pants and moccasins, and Brenda is in brown lounging-slacks and green high-school tennis shirt. Dan's body lies on the sofa, head facing the windows, uncovered and clothed in striped gray pajamas. Ali has cleaned him, gone over his face with his electric shaver and combed his hair. He lies almost as he died: head elevated on pillows. Ali did not close the eyelids as is often done just after death. And she has arranged arms and hands so the arms are extended with palms down in front. It gives a peaceful look.
Ali seats Brenda just by Dan's head and Eddie stands by with Ali leaning over their shoulders. After their arrival she explained the last moments. They appear surprised and sad looking.
"OK, guys, this is a really important moment in your lives. An ending! It's natural each of us feels scared and sad. But with Dan, Tragic is not the word. He lived longer than most, and healthily and well; he wrote plays; he supported a wife; he was my very dear friend, he ...." Suddenly Ali sits down on Dan's rocking chair, quietly sobbing. Brenda goes to her, pulling her stool alongside and embraces her while Eddie sits embarrassed.
After a few minutes Ali recovers.
"Excuse me. I think Dan would be happy to know his dying is an example to teach young persons."
Ali gets up and goes to kitchen.
She comes back with sandwiches and tea which she puts on the sofa table. "The reason I got you here is I want you to see a body minutes after death." She points to the dead figure. "That was Dan. Now it is just remains. We don't want to disrespect it but no need to treat it with awe. Now is for you to learn how to make sure, when someone dies in your presence, he is really dead. You know about pulses and breathing but one can be fooled by a very low volume of breathing and a very weak heartbeat that seems to give no pulse. Most of all the eyes show he's dead." Ali leans over and with fingers spreads the eyelids to expose the pupils. "Notice - Widely dilated - more than you would ever see if Dan were alive. And it is a bright sunny day coming through the window but Dan's pupils don't react at all to the sunlight as yours and mine would do by getting small and constricted. OK, that's all. Any questions."
Brenda raises her head. "Ali I know you're atheist. And I'm lapsed Catholic. But may I briefly pray."
"Sure Brenda."
Brenda says a prayer under her breath. Eddie keeps his head down but his lips do not move. When Brenda is finished he asks "Where does old Dan's spirit go to?"
Ali sits back in rocking chair, thinks a moment. "Eddie - and Brenda too - There is a great philosopher; he is still going strong in England now even though he is an Austrian. And he once wrote - About what one does not know, one should not speak. So to your question, Eddie, I just don't know."
Ali stands, "OK you guys, I am going to call the cops, which is the second thing you do after witnessing someone die at home."
"The doctor you called was Stan, wasn't it?" Brenda almost shouts and Ali knows Brenda is hopelessly gone on him.
"Yeah. OK, I do not want you to be here with cops. So git!"
48. The Cops
Next, Ali telephones the 52nd Police Precinct and tells Switchboard her 83-year-old uncle just died of natural causes in Apartment 2A, 18 West Mosholu Parkway North. She is told a pair of police will come.
Later - a loud knock. She lets in the the pair - In her mind she names them the Bobbsey Twins - both red-faced, both have whiskey on breath and both Irish.
Officer O'Brien does the talking. He takes out a notebook with pencil. Ali offers them the sandwiches Brenda and Eddie did not eat. The other cop takes one and, munching it, walks to the window and gazes out on the Sunday park scene.
"He is my uncle." Ali can't help referring to Dan in present tense, especially in the presence of his body. "Not by blood, just sort of adopted. I'm actually the downstairs neighbor in 1A."
"O'Brien pauses, raising eyebrows. "Whuddaya mean sort of?"
"Well, officer, you see I was orphan'd young and brought up by my real uncle who died. So I came to consider old Dan my adopted uncle and he likewise."
O'Brien scribbles more. "Yuh said natural death? Where's the doc's certificate?"
"Oh, here it is, officer." She picks up the document and shows him. He scribbles some more.
"Well, Tom," O'Brien says loudly to the other officer lounging by the window and munching slowly on the sandwich. "Age eighty-three, dies at home and she got a doctor signed and stamped certificate sez it's hardenin' art'ries. Strickly speakin' it's a coroner case, but - Geeze! - whuddaya think?"
"Call Doc Goldberg. Joe. Yuh know he sez allus call 'im. We ain't supposed tuh think; we jus' do like the boss sez."
O'Brien goes to the phone, dials and starts speaking. "Hey, Doc! O'Brien here. How ya doin'? Sorry tuh call yuh on a Sunday. Say, doc, I'm here, over Mosholu Parkway, wid a stiff - uh, I mean a body. Some old geezer - 83 - he pop off and dey gotta doc over and he made the certificate says carjack arrest from art'ries. Yeah, it all looks hunky dory and his adopted niece live downstairs been taken' care a him. Yuh wanna make a coroner case autopsy, or will yah sign it out a natural?"
"Ah! Ok! Whut I t'ought, a natural. T'anks a mill'on doc, as allus. Have a good Sunday. And regards tuh the missus."
As the officers are leaving, O'Brien gives Ali a card. "Yuh gonna need a good fooneral home, Miss. The O'Briens Funerals is best in Bronx and no relation but when yuh call, tell 'em Officer Joe referred yuh."
"I'll do that and thank you very much officer."
49. The Funeral Home
Ali discussed with Dan on several occasions the disposal of one's body after one's death. Dan was against religious ceremony. "I do not want a parasite priest making money off my death." Also, as an efficiency extremist, he hated the idea of paying anything for disposing of his body. Still, the law dictates some kind of disposal. So he desired cremation at lowest price. Now, after telephone inquiries, Ali discovers the nearby Woodlawn Cemetery offers a $99 next-day cremation with delivery of ashes and bones in urn and box. But the body has to be transported, which the cemetery does not offer. So Ali will need a funeral home transport. She calls O'Briens from the card the officer left.
An oily voice answers: "Greetings, O'Briens Funerals here. How may we serve?"
Ali explains: Her upstairs neighbor just died naturally. She has it certified by doctor, and the police have just cleared it as natural, and officer Joe advised she call O'Briens. Just one problem. The old gent has no relatives and is living off welfare and only a few dollars of cash in the house and no valuables. He'd requested cremation and Woodlawn can do it but it needs the funeral home transport. How much will it cost?
The voice replies smoothly. "Our condolences on your loss. O'Briens aims to serve. Now for our cremation we have a package deal - $400 - includes transport of remains, storage on ice, a final religious service by denomination of your choice, and a most modern 45-minute cremation. And, lady, we'll accept your note on credit with just a $50 cash down-payment."
Ali says No politely explaining that she is just a student, and needs every cent.
The voice, no longer oily, says, "Alright, lady, its twenty-five bucks in advance. We can be over in thirty minutes."
Exactly 30 minutes later, the bell rings. Ali walks down Dan's dim, dingy hallway, opens door and sees 2 slightly drunk men in not so clean white uniforms who wheel a stretcher in and are followed by the oily-voice man.
"The death certificate?"
He inspects it. "All in order. Now, the twenty-five dollars, please." She hands over the cash.
"OK, Frank," he says to the lead attendant and they roll the stretcher to the sofa and lift Dan in and cover his body with white sheet.
"Leave his face exposed, please, so I can see it."
When they arrive at Woodlawn Cemetery with Dan's body, the clerk inspects the death certificate and collects Ali's $100 bill, giving back a dollar bill.
The funeral-home man now has reverted to his oily voice and says "Happy to serve, Miss. Please keep O'Briens in mind and tell your friends."
"Well, I'll do that, sir. And thanks for not being too obnoxious." She smiles at his shocked look, adding "Oh yes, and don't forget Officer Joe."
50. Cremation
Monday: 4 PM is Ali's choice for the cremation because she wants Eddie and Brenda at it with her. They arrive directly from school.
As they sit together in crematory room, which is its front part with the thick-walled oven door large enough to accept a human body, Ali explains Dan's choice of cremation.
"Dan didn't believe in the continuation of a person in any way - soul, spirit, mind. He considered death a final end to one's consciousness. So he saw no reason to waste time, energy, money or space on the remains - which is how he liked to refer to himself after death."
"Yeah, my brother Allen is like that." says Eddie.
"Gee, Ali, the priests and nuns at St. Ann's would go crazy if they heard that kind of stuff but it don't faze me at all. Makes a lot a sense," says Brenda.
Ali continues. "Cremation satisfies all that. Especially if you let a cemetery do it. A cemetery is not in the funeral home business, it's just here to dispose of remains whether it be burial, cremation, whatever."
Brenda, being of a practical mind, comments. "Ali it sounds great but it's Utopian. I mean maybe you and Dan now OK but in the real world of me and Eddie - Never in a million years! I mean everyone in our families would be against it. There would be conniption fits, galore."
"Look, Brenda - and you too Eddie! I an't trying to advocate, I just show and explain and you pick up whatever you like." She looks hard at them then smiles. "But I admire your critical comments. Keep 'em coming."
They are interrupted by the cemetery clerk and his assistant wheeling in Dan's body on stretcher. The cemetery had requested Ali bring Dan's best set of clothes - his formal black suit and oxford shoes - even down to underwear and stockings. The procedure, as the clerk explains, is to first wash the body, then tastefully apply facial make up and a little lip color to Dan's shaved face and also be sure his hair is cut and combed. Then they dress him in the black suit and place his hands folded on chest in peaceful position. That has all been done. Now, only the cremation remains.
The clerk says, "Do you wish to express a last goodbye or say any final words or ceremony?"
All three get up and come to Dan's side. Ali shakes her head. Suddenly she turns to Brenda on her right and Brenda opens her arms and Ali silently rests on her shoulder. Brenda replies for Ali "It's alright. Go ahead."
The clerk and the assistant slide the body on its holder into the open oven door. The heat from the oven comes back into the room as they shut the oven door and seal it with a twist of the handle. The clerk turns to them. "It will take forty-five minutes. You may prefer to sit in the outer office as it can get rather warm in here." They follow him out, Ali still being assisted in Brenda's arms, and Eddie, distinctly uncomfortable, following.
After the 45 minutes they follow the clerk back into the crematory room. He spins the oven handle, opens the door and, with the assistant, pulls out the holder on which Dan's body entered the oven. What is left is charcoal ashes and still glowing embers of the skeleton which had shattered from the great heat. After 10 minutes cooling, the clerk beckons the 3.
"Loved ones of the deceased are consoled by themselves actually putting the ashes into the urn and gathering up the bones for the box." He indicates a transparent glass container for the ashes, that looks like a large cookie jar with screw top, and a wooden panel box the size of a small carton for the bone fragments. There are scoops and a kind of big chopsticks for picking up the bones. Ali, Brenda and Eddie get to work on it.
Eddie asks, "What'll you do with these ashes and bones, Ali?"
"I don't know, kid. I'm thinking on it. For the moment I'll just keep it upstairs in Dan's where I plan to stay tonight."
When they finish, Ali thanks the clerk and assistant. "You know, it's my first experience with death. I just feel lucky I had Woodlawn nearby and even more lucky for you guys. Everyone's been a gem even the cops and O'Briens Funeral. I won't forget."
51. Aftermath
The death of one of a close pair - spouse, companion or parent - is a dangerous time for the one left behind. If that one is harboring disease, it may break out and sometimes kill; if one's mind is troubled, mental illness may dominate. Sometimes it is pathological grief that can end in suicide.
Ali is young, with strong body and mind. Still she feels troubled and vulnerable. She returns to Dan's apartment and puts Dan's ashes and bones on the settee. She realizes she needs to sort things out in her mind. And she knows the best way to do it is to take morphine - the usual 2 mg injected beneath skin into thigh - and lie back on sofa with mind open and directed to first things. As is her usual repose, she starts by orienting self - 30 August 1943, Monday, 7 PM. "Dan is dead." is the first orienting. Ali's self psychoanalysis allows her to see that a bad side of an event often has a good side. She calls this Win-Win, saying out loud: "Sure, it would have been Win had Dan stayed healthy. But, also it is Win that once he got badly ill he died quickly. Now I am no longer chained to taking care of a sick old man. Then there is the money. In the drawer is nearly $100,000. This money would otherwise go to a next of kin who might not use it well and it would be subject to taxes. But, practically, it's mine and safe so long as I'm careful."
Ali's morphine repose helps her decide it will be best, first, to bring the money down to her apartment. The alternative, to place it in a bank, risks discovery. Eventually she will bring the cash to Switzerland. The War is already obviously going to end in German defeat and then travel will be easy. She bursts into speech: "I am young and healthy, with lots of money, a good brother in Tommy, a good friend in Brenda, and a good student in Eddie. What? Me Worry?" and she drifts into a brief sleep.
She awakens 30 minutes later by her wrist alarm: alert, a tingle, aglow the way a morphine session makes a sleeper wake.
For next chapter, click 12.(52-53): Educate Brenda 5 - College Choice/Bir...
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