4. Potpourri
For years Eddie's mom and dad thought about permanently living in Long Beach on New York's south-shore Long Island in their summer apartment by the boardwalk. Nina's marrying Eddie and moving into the Bronx apartment decided the mom and dad to cut free from their life of 30 years. The smaller flat in Long Beach is easier for Mom to clean and most of all she prefers to be the lone housewife at home.
Eddie and Nina need the rent-controlled 5 rooms in the Bronx because the hospital is across the street and the low rent frees up their budget relieving much of Nina's housewife anxiety. In her happiness, she sings a lyric she names Potpourri. It is a version of Chop Suey from the Broadway musical Flower Drum Song (To see and hear the original cast click
Chop Suey - Flower Drum Song - YouTube
and after the brief animal view you'll get "Chop suey") and it goes: "Loving you is like potpourri; a mix of so many nice things! Thank you for choosing me to wife."Eddie says: "Boy! Or should I say, Girl? Are you classical, Nina! Or are you? What's with the "To wife"?
"Yes, my husband, like in Shakespeare's play a la Cole Porter - the fellow who says he came to wived wealthily in Padua."
Eddie fixes Nina with that look. OK, Neen, strip for your daddy. I'm here to fuck you fabulously in Bronxua."
"Eddie! Couldn't you be just a little more romantic?"
"Shut up, bitch!" He pulls her up off the couch and gives her a strong slap on her right buttock through her dress. "Take it off, baby or I'll tear it off." He grabs her by shoulders, kisses her hard with closed lips and then shoves her back down on sofa, this time lengthwise. Getting an interesting idea from Samuel Pepys' Diary describing the rape of Pepys' serving girl, he commands Nina, "Pull your dress up over your head and just hold it like that."
"But I won't be able to see anything, dear."
"That's the idear, dear. We could say you'll be flying fucking, blind.
Nina does as ordered, and Eddie is gratified also to see she follows his other instructions not to wear panties. Dropping his pants and pulling down his shorts he jumps on her and goes belly to belly.
"Spread, bitch, spread!" She opens up.
"That's the ticket. Now grab my prick in hand and ram it home inside you, baby."
As Eddie bumps and humps, he says, "You like to fuck, I know that Nina. Howzabout next time I bring my pal, Danny and we take you together, front and rear?"
"Oh, Eddie, please don't be that way. I love you. I want to be a good wife." Now, she is feeling his penis rubbing her weak spot, the part that makes her nymphomanic. She cries out. "Aw Eddie, I do everything. I fuck anyone you want me to. Bring on as many as you can. Aw it's too good!" And she loses control and moves her buttocks up against his and they come together with groans and moans. Nina has been truly cured of her basic problem.
After a minute, lying together, he says, "Gee, Neen, forgive me. I shouldna acted like that and said those things. Sorry."
"Eddie, I love you. Whatever you say, I do."
"No! I want you to tell Dr Stan what I did, so it's not just between you and me."
Thus, Eddie tries to get his bad urge under control. Later Stan will suggest Eddie go into psychoanalysis and work it out in sessions.
5. Overpopulation
"How come you never get knocked up Neen? I mean even when you went nympho and all those guys were shtooping you, you never got knocked up, ain't it so?"
It is a few minutes after the sex and they sit together. Nina replies, "I think the woman should be responsible for getting with baby. And I follow Reverend Malthus. Too many people."
Too many dumb people," Eddie says. "So how'd you do it?"
"You ought to know. You allowed me to read your Professor Edwardes's copy of Physician's Notebooks. And in Notebooks 8 I read about the Honeycup diaphragm. Now it is my best friend. A woman's real friend."
"Diaphragm? That's a big rubber cup? How come I never see you put it in and I never feel it when I'm in?"
"How come is you never read the chapter. Had you, you would know the Honeycup is a small size diaphragm. I use size 60 millimeters diameter. And you should know I wear it all the time except take it out each morning in bath or shower, wash it off and put it back in. So it's always."
"Hey! Wait, Neen! I'm a big boy M.D., now. A graduate, dontchyaknow? Diaphragms gotta be fitted and you're supposed to put it in just before fucking and with a lot of jelly, aintchya?"
"Not Physician's Notebooks honeycup, Honey," Nina says, and Eddie laughs at her play.
"That's why it works well." She frowns. "Besides not wishing to add to overpopulation of the world, I do not wish to overpopulate this darlingly lovely apartment with even one baby yet. Is it OK?"
"Sure Neen. Gee, if every wife was as good as you, what a great world this would be? Only good people! And just enough of them so we could have big, wide open spaces and no wars and stuff."
6.a) Housewifery
Nina finds herself contented as Eddie's housewife, Eddie comments "I hate trendists, Neen; that's why I love you. I don't want a partner, I don't want a companion, I want a wife."
"You got one, Eddie."
"I like it."
"About my housewifery, I want to concentrate on keeping you healthy, happy and long lived. So just sit and listen to what I am thinking based on my reading of Physician's Notebooks." Eddie relaxes on sofa, happy. He puts himself into an attentive, non interrupting mode.
"Concentrating on your eating, the most important thing is to give you stability and variety while keeping your weight healthy, which means body mass index not higher than 20.'
Nina jumps up and runs to the WC and comes back with a bathroom scale she makes sure to place on the wood part of the floor and not on the rug, and she zeroes it in by the dial control. "OK, Eddie, it is morning and not yet breakfast; ideal for getting your basal weight in order to calculate Body Mass Index. Go to the WC and empty yourself of whatever."
Three minutes, he is back, emptied. He quickly sheds clothing and steps onto the balance while Nina stoops to see his weight. "Sixty-one kilograms, or in our American way, multiplied by two point two to give one thirty four pounds avoirdupois. Now, stand up against the wall there." She indicates a bare area where he can stand erect, looking straight in front of him, and she measures off his top of head in tangent with pencil. "Excuse my marking our wall." She measures the length. "One point seven-seven meters."
She writes it down on paper pad. "Now, dear, you are brilliant in arithmetic and I am a dope. So do mental math to multiply one point seventy-seven by itself."
"Three, point thirteen, twenty-nine," he says.
"Then divide that into the sixty-one kilograms."
"Nineteen point four seven."
"Now, round off to nearest unit."
"Nineteen."
She kisses him on lips. "Oh, my brilliant husband! How do you do it so quick, easy and accurate?"
"Donchyaknow, Neen? Physician's Notebooks chapter Numbers for Healthy Longevity." He laughs, knowing she knows and just wants to hear him advertise their favorite book.
"Eddie, you have a superb BMI number for living one-million hours of healthy life."
Nina gets up from the sofa and turns to Eddie on her right and still sitting. "Now I give a little lecture on the good BMI - how to maintain it. The key is in the phrase Low calorie trumps high quality."
"Wha?" Eddie says in a Bronx jeer. Didn't we just elect him?"
"I mean limiting your daily food calories to keep your weight at good BMI---" she looks at Eddie --"In your case a weight around sixty-kilogram so you have breathing space to occasionally overeat. That is more important than worrying about food quality. Low calorie processed food snacks are healthier for you than fresh bananas or bread or rice because they stop your over-appetite," She runs into the kitchen and in less than a minute is back holding up a fast-food Light CupNoodle. "See this. I got it in the oriental food store. It is imported from Hongkong. One hundred ninety eight big C, or kilocalories and all you do is fill it up with hot purified water and eat it as breakfast. Try it now." She grabs his hand and leads him into the kitchen and sits him at table. "Do it all yourself."
He tears the top off the cardboard cup which is just a little larger than a big glass. He goes to the office-type filtered-water, 2-gallon bottle stand and turns on the hot, filling the cup with the purified water. Then he sits at table and gets out his favorite reading, Lost Horizon, and he stirs the watered Cup Noodles with chopsticks as he reads.
Nina has taught Eddie to cultivate a slow eating technique that may involve chewing thoroughly. But with CupNoodle it is not necessary. As he reads, Eddie, using his chopsticks, picks up small bits of fish or seaweed or egg that floats on top in the cup. Once these are eaten up, he chopsticks small bunches of noodles and savors each in mouth as he reads. And when he has lowered the fluid level of the cup one quarter from the top-full level, he hands the cup to Nina who fills the cup back up to top with more hot, purified water. In this way, it takes him about 30 minutes to eat up the cup. Meanwhile he has enjoyed and benefited from the reading.
Nina asks, "Has it satisfied your hunger?"
"Wow, Neen? You say this is a one hundred ninety eight Kilocal breakfast? Can't believe it. That's like a half toast for breakfast. After a half toast, I am normally starving. But now I feel full."
"It's from the water, spices and salt."
Eddie frowns. "Salt? Ain't that bad for me?"
Yes. if you ate too much of it in a 24-hour but not in a one-ninety-eight K-cal breakfast. And the bonus is, you are eating at a level that would be less than one thousand kilocals for a full day. Imagine the amount of weight one could lose. Just imagine?"
That was a good movie, Eddie thinks; I really wived healthily in Bronxua with Neen.
"Now, Neen, How'sabout a li''le more lovin'?"
Allow the curtain to drop on this marital bliss.
End of Section, To continue next, click 16.(7-9) Years Fly
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