Slim Novel 16 - http://adventuresofkimi.blogspot.com - See Homepage
20. A Watershed Time
The death of a loved one is a dangerously unstable period: a time of lowered immunity and illness of the survivor. For weeks Eddie feels restless. He drinks too much alcohol; starts smoking cigarettes; tries cocaine; takes long night walks through dangerous neighborhoods; neglects his work.
Stan comes to Eddie's office and sits down by desk. "Eddie, everyone is talking. Are you OK? Do you need help?"
Eddie brusquely shakes head but Stan goes on. "Look, take a month leave. I talked it over with Leo Davidoff and he says OK. Otherwise we can't protect your job."
Eddie agrees. He has become nearly mute, speaking in only short phrases. After Stan leaves, he gets up, tells his secretary and calls in Dr. Henry to run things while he is gone. Then he heads home.
He does not take a vacation; he stops his long night walks and stops drinking, smoking and ends the cocaine. Instead he takes out the long ago given bottle of 1-milligram morphine pills.
He starts a period where he stays in the apartment. He does not even go out to buy food, simply eating up what is on his shelves, in the cans and in the refrigerator. He does not watch TV or listen to radio or even answer telephone. He lies on bed and at intervals puts a morphine under the tongue and thinks.
He is doing self psychoanalysis. He reviews his life, thinks about its evolution, its swerves, its events; checks his motivations and asks himself: What do I want from life? Where shall I go from here? How do I start?
A month passes. He loses ten pounds (4 to 5 kilograms). During long periods reposing on sofa using morphine he has reviewed his life, and looked deeply into his possible futures.
A few days later, he is lying abed late into the night. And it comes to him. Japan! Ryo! I was never happier than then. Why shouldn't I! Take a chance at a glance passing by? Why shouldn't I! Try for love? he thinks, with silliness, echoing lyrics of a song he'd once heard at a nightclub.
I shall do a new life! A new wife! Tokyo, there I go!
End of Chapter. To next, click 16.(21-26) Eddie Starts New Life in New Japan
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